The happiest, smiliest, kid you could meet. Ive talked to the school teachers/counselor and theyve purposely placed her in work groups with kids who are nice and welcoming to kids that are odd or not popular. I dnt know if it will ever change , and I hate for her. My teen is happy spending time alone. Except for the fact that I am not an extrovert, I am very much an introvert and I dont mind not having friends, but he desperately wants friends and people to talk to, but no one wants to talk to him. Just yesterday, my son came home sobbing because one of the kids actually got physical with him because a bunch of kids were playing tag, my son was it, tagged the kid and the kid didnt want to get tagged so he shoved my son to the ground and made him skin his knee. Again Im not sure if this fits for your son but it might be worth looking into. He loves laughing and loves playing video games but no one wants to join him. God bless your family! So he became the brunt of all the jokes. Just need to become a regular (3-4 times/week same times and days every week; other regulars will soon recognize and accept). How cool! If i could h Make a statement or what you have it. My mamma heart hurts for him and his loneliness. He needs to be taught how to make friends. This is a great way for them to practice social skills. As sympathetic and connected as I was with them, I realized that I couldnt be the only one they had to talk to. One or two friends are all they need. Hi Mom, I went through this with my daughter and at age 15 my wife had a hunch that we followed up on. One day, a younger kid (2 years younger than my son) came to tell me that when my son wanted to join for a play and was rejected, he cried. He struggles with all my suggestions and has anxiety about going into the different groups he could join. I also have a 12 year old introvert that has a hard time making friends. I totally understand I have a 16-year-old daughter and she has suffer from depression, anxiety and is not social with anyone. You can find your tribe ?? Just so you all know. Theres often a way to find a new environment and its vital for our kids. We just have to make it through HS first. This is essentially my story/my sons story. Anyway perhaps our boys can connect. Please get in contact with me! Instead, make this about taking a risk, participating in high school life or getting a little uncomfortable. Her dad died when she was eight, so she matured quickly and didnt have a lot in common with the other kids. You might try helping him identify individual members who he would like to get to know and think with him about how to connectwith them one-on-one during or outside of group meetings. Too bad we couldnt get them together. Having a close friend in adolescence can lead to lower rates of anxiety and depression. This way they can meet people with common interests and provide a spring board for conversation. Remind them that they cannot compel others to become their friends. Take your family to church to meet people. He's absolutely hilarious, has the most adorable dimples, and despite treading water in the turbulent tween waters, he's actually a really great kid. because it explains all these challenges. 18 year old son has no social life -How can I help? He loves Minecraft and science. He is a social person and enjoys hobbies, but as he's gotten older, many of the things he enjoys doing, things like lifting weights, researching different exercises, and skateboarding, seem to be solitary activities. Im a father and I feel for your family. The more insecure he becomes, the less brave he is when approaching new kids. Im fine being by myself. It is hard to understand and be ok with, but I try. They would just ACT like they were to get what they wanted from him and then be mean to him as soon as they get what they want or they make fun of him for his physical appearance. The academics arent always a good trade off (and sometimes theyre a waste of time). Reading this was like reading about me and my 11 yr old son! Try to listen to your daughter and give her some honest feedback. I have an 11yo daughter and very similar issues. I want more for him, and he wants more than me. The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth is a great book about this. My son is 11 and just lost his two alleged friends. If you live in or near a larger metropolitan area, look for alternative school options or even consider homeschooling. If at all possible, when someone has a child who sits in the world like this, dont make them attend the school that hurts them. I was this way in middle school and high school. Any plans were because I set it up for him. My 12-year-old, going on 13, doesn't seem to have any close friends. It hasnt happened. I would let him be. That experienced fucked up my whole sense of belonging & made me reject myself before anyone else could reject me. My teenager has no friends. It doesnt always get better. Hes intelligent and loves to read. I cry, too. Our youth group is very large, and theyre are lots of personalities and interests among them but they all have the love of Jesus in common and that was enough to pull my little introvert out into new experiences. For these families, its important to remember that development is often uneven across domainschildren may master academic skills with ease but struggle with the reciprocity of friendships or the routines of self-care. Ppl ask her to do things , then back out last min. He has flat feet, asthma, wears glasses and a little overweight. As parents, our greatest instinct is to protect our children. but please feel free to contact me on social media. Junior high was tough and we decided to change schools half way through 7th grade. He is also an old soul who struggles to find his people. The loneliness taking its toll and making it harder to connect with others. She is utterly devastated. She has then switched school 3 times and finally has settled into school in the same area I work at. Invite people to go skiing, boating, whatever it is we were doing, and he either got ignored or no. In return. He loves to read and they love to play video games. While your kid may make friends doing activities they enjoy, remember, no extracurricular is worth potential friends if your teen is miserable about it. I know it hurts now but let me tell youit will get better. Just some suggestions, for what theyre worth. None, especially at their age so I say fuck them and their snotty ass families!! Can we just be the , My Son Has No Friends And Its Breaking My Mama Heart, Mens Cross Country Teams Photos are Pure Comedy Gold, What Is Female Squirting Exactly? I wish we could contact each other for emotional support. Be aware, be there and help direct them in this crazy time! 3. Hes beginning college in less than a year abs hopes to be a PTA. There seem to be more and more kids who would rather tease him. Fitness classes in the gym are very social too Working out doesnt take talent or skills, and everyone is crap at it in the beginning (it just takes dedication and some online research). My mama heart breaks. My teenager has no friends. It doesnt have to be just sports. She knows a lot of kids, pretty much the whole high school and most of the middle school. I remember going to work crying on multiple occasions because I witnessed him standing against a wall, eating a breakfast bar, alone, while the kids around him interacted with each other. I too try to give him pointers to start convos etc., hes soooo smart it blows my mind, hes hysterical, Hes the most generous & empathic boy. My son is 11 and is going through a tough time. (Twenty20 @Hayley_Alexander) My son enjoys spending time alone I hope things are better for you and your son and thank you for making me feel less alone. I wish I could connect with a of you. My 11 year old son is the same way and unfortunately its causing some serious depression in him. My son and his experiences sound so similar to your sons. YoungLife.org Also, for middle schoolers, sometimes there is WyldLife also. Its better now. I pray your son finds his people. Hes so smart and the rings he finds fascinating other boys his age think they are dumb. He attends social functions and tries to meet other kids but no one wants to sit by him. This breaks my heart as my 11yr old boy is the exact same way, and he is alone always I just want him to have a friend, I wish I could make other kids stop teasing him and love him as much as I do ! It causes her to have melt downs quite often. She started having seizures and it got worse. He finds his peers too rambunctious and less academically intriguing. This sounds just like my son. My second son, my middle child, is so very special. Try that! Hes an introvert by nature. I am so sorry to hear this. She is also involved in a music group, does drama, teaches music to younger children, sports, dancing and balleta general all-rounder. I worry and try not to compare him to others, but its hard. Hi. heartbreaking and has me worrying all the time. I can absolutely relate. These are incredible options with scholarships available. Some days I dont even recognize my child anymore.Hes grown in so many ways! Sports have been helpful and Ive realized that he doesnt need to be friends with everyone, he just needs a couple of true friends. My storymy son. And I cry and pray for her. It felt like someone hijacked our lives and was writing about it. The good news is, in most cases, this can be taken care of pretty quickly. You can go about your workout by yourself without feeling awkward at all (no pressure to NOT be alone, which is rare), and anyone not wearing headphones will eventually make friends (might take a few weeks, but itll happen). Teenage Social Life: Whats a Parents Role? Week after week - when not in school - there he is in his room by himself again. I have the same 11 year old. Public schools are secular and godless. Perhaps, with monitoring and candid conversations about web-safety, parental controls privacy expectations (for safetys sake) you could find a site he could be a part of. I know it wont always be this way, I know hell find his people. Being an old soul will never change if he tries to be like them he will be happy for a short while and then become frustrated with them and himself as it simply does not work Someone mentioned above about a school switch, is that an option? Hes an only child and the two alleged friends he did have just dumped him. There is a great resource that my husband started to help end childhood loneliness. One or two friends are all they need. My heart breaks for him because he is an introvert but also wants friends and has had a hard time making them. Any beginner is expected to ask other members questions, and people are generally keen to help (the arrogant dicks are easy to spot/avoid, and the loners will wear headphones). . Trying to find him a friend is good, but dont make him feel like something is wrong with him. My advice to you is to have a heart to heart discussion with him at some point. My 11 year old son has no friends anymore. Friendships are an important part of the teen years. He suffers the loniess so badly. I keep telling her that after HS shell fibd her people. I dont have any suggestions for you other than to try finding hobbies or activities he likes and then taking him out to join other people doing those things Biking. He cries about it sometimes, and I cry with him. Look at them and say nothing, just listen. They exist. Even through other people who hung in my group didnt like the idea of me talking to them. He is in a situation that will likely not change. My daughter has quite a few friends and has a boyfriend for the last 3 yrs. Not as cool as his two older brothers it as well known as his older sister. My daughter tooshe always says she has no friends, and that they are mostly online. He used to be full of joy. He needs to be unapologetically who he is if he is lucky he will cross paths with others like him and firm that inner circle if not, he will come to realise the peace of being different and having a place of quiet where he can be himself All the kids want to be friends with the kid who has gum. Your son sounds like a wonderful kid. I totally agree with you. Full of original and sometimes different people Pick a local gym with other locals from school, work, etc., and itll be more natural to strike up a conversation. I did it because the clowns around me were full of hate and dishonesty and though they were cool cause they would do stupid stuff thing they were cool. Join Activities. Its breaking my mama heart. Im sorry, all I really wanted to say was thank you. Specialty camps are a place that many kids thrive in (not YMCA camps or other daycare options). He was invited to birthday parties and had a lot of play dates. His peers talk about girls, video games and basketball, while he talks about WWII, politics and the negative effects of social media on teens. OmgI sooo felt this. I dont want to throw him in therapy & have him think hes weird or whatever for going to therapyall though its a known fact in our household that myself & his father see therapists. They hit, kick, or shove more than other boys, and they also tend to be more disruptive and argumentative. He is now at a local Jr. College, things are still the same. Its sad bc I know hes a good kid but social awkward. After all, if sharing your kids achievements wasnt so , Can we all just calm the hell down about this whole mom wine culture thing? She hides in the library during break time, as she told me she feels awkward eating alone. Get your email or xbox info, my son has room for another friend. I wish we could all get together with our kids. Encourage them to explore new areas. I know there are thousands of kids out there just like ours, hopefully they cross each others path and find what theyve been missing. You just described my middle son. My son is 11 and he struggles all to well with no friends hes been bullied and made fun of, he knows hes different he stays in the house and plays video games by himself if you would like to reach out let me know send me an address my son would love to send a card so would I. In addition, "if parents observe the way their . Kristian Hulme. He is cut off now more than ever because he is not into the girls, music thing and isn't adept at banter. One day they won't. You will just become another person in their life. just ones they talk to at the library and they also have a bit https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ihslz/the_difference_between_men_and_women/. He may find other teenagers that share his love of reading, or it could be a chance to explore a new interest with others. My son sounds very similar (age 7). And with his interests in history, you may want to check out sca.org and find a local group to check out together. Teach Social Skills Sooner Rather Than Later It's important for children to have social engagement and interaction with peers starting at a young age. I have a son that is 12. Ask follow-up questions to make sure you understand. In a new setting everything can change and be new. Ultimately this applies to you and your son. I was unimpressed with the meanness of some of the kids, I didnt share interests with most of the others, and then just ended up tired and withdrawn. I feel seen! Have you discussed with your teen what is making them apprehensive? He says he is not lonely but deep down i know he is. For the commuter you know, a quality messenger bag is a practical and beloved gift to extend their way (just cross-body and go!) He was bounced everywhere bc I had to take care of my parents (both sick with different types of cancers) and then they passed (within weeks of each other) and then my sister (who was fighting a different type of cancer) passed a little over a month after our parents. So its extreme! Send me an email and we I involved her in activities wirh other home school children when She was comfortable. Also, if you talk too fast and never pause during conversation, your teen will feel like he doesn't have time to interject. One year a teacher had a lunch group with boys who had similar interests, where my son could shine I a low stress situation. Hes always had more adult friends than kids his own age. It also comes from being malested at 5 years old. Help build their self-esteem with positive encouragement. Here are 5 ways to help your child deal with loneliness and overcome isolation when they feel left out or say they have no friends: 1. I was angry. STEM classes have become really popular. He says hes fine and I know, in my heart, that he isnt. Work hard to help him find people on his wave length, dont emphasize teaching him to be more like the other kidsit wont work just as it wont work to make them more like him. You give yourself a break, you realize you dont have to have a ton of friends, its ok to have quirky interests it takes the pressure off. It hurts my heart so badly to see my boy who was always so happy to go to school saying school is dumb. Like you said breaks your heart because we want so much more for them. I get so angry because he is such a good kid. I would do anything to find him a forever friend, but I dont know how many more disappointments he can take. He has online buddies that he games with, we even took a road trip across the country to meet up with a few of them but they arent the same as real life friends. He seems to have found a couple, but even still most weekends hes home with us. Remember, introverts are not verbal processors. Don't force your child to do something. But, my son has no friends and its breaking my heart. First, encourage your teen to get involved in activities he/she does like. It is hard to watch them struggle and feel powerless to do anything. March 9th @5pm! Skateboarding Hiking.. astronomy Ping pong Whatever. Whenever we go somewhere, he prefers talking with the adults. He plays video games and loves science and YouTube. Its a big wide world and friends can be made from anywhere!! If your teen isn't opening up to you and the behavior continues, you might want to enlist another trusted adult in your teen's life, such as a clergyman, favorite teacher, or even a professional therapist. Mary Fowler, the Fair Haven, New Jersey-based author of Maybe You Know My Teen (#CommissionsEarned) and the mother of a son with ADHD, says that having close childhood friends can make "the difference between things going well, or becoming a hard-to-manage teen, dropping out, abusing substances, and being in trouble with the law." Experts . Speak to him alone in a private place. I know hell eventually find at least one other quirky kid to hang with, or at least someone who isnt his mom. So hes alone. Hes diagnosed with HFA (High functioning Autism) and ADHD so hes one of two extremes. I cant begin to explain the devastation I feel for him. You can only get shot down so much, and 7 years is longer that I would have tried. Tweens and teens 10 year old son watching porn Tweens and teens Will I lose my Working Tax Credits when my 16 year old child starts an apprentic Tweens and teens 16 year old daughter pregnant Tweens and teens Consequences of a 16 year old not attending college or apprenticeship? Hes my oldest and hes extremely lonely and it breaks my heart. Then we moved to another country due to her dads job. Hes so depressed needs someone to talk to someone who will be caring and fun. Receive our weekly newsletter with the latest articles, media, and resources. Its a drastic step to pull your kid out of school and find a new situation, but if theres one where some other unique kids could find a kindred spirit in your beautiful sonperhaps its worth a try? Leslie it honestly doesn't seem like you have to worry about him! I just wish one kid from this mean crowd would stick up for him and perhaps the rest would be kind. She fit so many of the criteria that we were unaware of that we had her tested. I truly believe these kind of kids are destined for much higher purpose in life. Though when he did. I am my sons only friend, and my mama heart is breaking. He has always lacked appropriate social skills and therefore . Find out if the time they are spending alone is making them unhappy. I didnt see the point in sending him to a place where he felt the worst and wasnt thriving. Can talk as parents and I know my kids would play video games with him online. Then college, and I just knew shed meet someone to connect with. Kids can also be so mean. Therapy and Counseling The preteen and teenage years are a tumultuous time. ? My son is an introvert and is 25yrs old now and is in the same boat. We are now in ABQ, NM. According to Google, search interest in messenger bags is the . Is it possible your son may be on the autism spectrum? I have a 10 year old son and 9 year old son whod love another friend. I was that kid. The website is called friendometry.com He has a couple of friends now, but really they are my friends children. Put him on a destination imagination team. Hes now married, baby on the way. Hes so proud of his ideas, so happy with his interests, and he genuinely wants to share them but no one wants to listen. It made me think how I need to step up and make a change in my small community. Help your teen think about what interests them and what they are good at. Here are three steps to help your child find a friend or two. He is the oldest and very artistic and full of knowledge about a multitude of subjects. She is also an old soul with nothing in common with her peers. I was your son, as it were. I have a bunch of gamer kids that meet the same description. I enjoyed your post; it was well-written. According to the Raising Children Network, having a group of good friends can help build confidence, security and provide a support system for teens. Friendship needs to come naturally, and it will when it's meant to be. And I am so proud that my kids are the same way. Sending you both heart healing hugs as you navigate these waters for a little while longer. Now that he is in high school, his Dad and I are getting very concerned. One of my boys is in a similar situation. Remind them that they cannot compel others to become their friends. He doesnt have a tribe I can chauffeur around, a team to meet up with, a friend to have inside jokes with. We stopped having birthday parties for him a few years ago, because people stopped coming. Check online reviews first, and pick a local one described as friendly If for a kid (12+ years), see if they have dedicated teen hours (usually kids under 16 can only go with an adult). Hello, My son was diagnosed at 5 years old with several issues, to include ODD and extreme ADHD (medicated) and has struggled his whole life to make friends and form relationships. If hes been officially tested as gifted, he can qualify for talent search camps at places like Johns Hopkins, the University of Chicago, Bryn Mawr College, Stanford, etc. Probably about the size of an 11-12 yo. There are several ways that you can help. Do you have your friends over so your teen can learn some socialization? My son is similar, but has found similar friends. He runs our 4-H meetings with confidence, andis incredibly dedicated and involved. You can praise how pleased you are at her high . Supporting efforts to develop friendships is a worthy pursuit for several reasons: Helpfully, studies also show that its not necessary for teenagers to be popular or have a large group of friends to reap these benefits. Shed rather play board games , watch movies , listen to music or go shopping. What do you do when your teenage son has no friends? The ones who will understand and appreciate her. 30/09/2017 05:11 My 14 year old son has no friends. I will keep you and your son in my Prayers! Best of luck to you and your son. I know you are not looking for advice necessarily, but have you considered theater? If not, perhaps your teen has suffered a private trauma (e.g., getting bullied). Things are better in high school. I have a 12 year old boy looking for a friend. If your teen is active and interested in fitness and sports, but maybe not competitively, check with local parks and recreation, local gyms, or the local YMCA for offerings. Breaks my heart that shes unable to experience those best friend moments, that connection. That summer, (last summer) he spent entirely alone. I love being around people, which I think makes it hurt worse when I see him all alone. They may share too much personal information too soon, and they may become jealous. Much love to you and your son and all the other commenters who are in similar situations with their sons and daughters. You need to find the things for him. He definitely has depression and I always keep an open line of communication with him. yes, he is different but he was the most happy child I knewhe is not anymoreit hurts. After HS she started college and she is doing well, with several friends, without sacrificing who she is or what she believes. My 11 yr old daughter is my favorite human on the planet but she Just clams up around kids her age. Much love to you, to all the other mums whose hearts are breaking and to the children being left out. Take the pressure off. Also, provide an example of yourself being uneasy in a social situation as an adult or when you were a teen to show that you understand. Other kids dont always mature. Hes president of the local 4-H club and involved with our youth group, but he doesnt really fit in with the other children. Hes incredibly well-spoken, enjoys discussions over history or politics. My 9 year old also has a switch he is a fan of. 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